|The Other Types: ESTJ
||[Jul. 23rd, 2007|08:47 am]
INFP Community v2: Lovers, Dreamers, and Me
How have you found the ESTJs in your life?|
As our exact opposites on the MBTI, they're supposed to have complimentary skills and ways of dealing with things to ourselves. The ESTJ has been described as the "business suit"; they're the type whose values and ways or working are supposed to align most closely with the modern business world. What do you think?
My last relationship was with an ESTJ, and at that time we had another in our very close social group. I really loved and admired their sense of optimism and passion, but I found them to be rather self-centred, and the fact that they never seemed to pause for ANY amount of self-reflection drove me absolutely crazy! This seemed to result in them being very inconsiderate of others, very passionate, but extremely fickle; people they hated today they might love tomorrow, and vice versa. I found it kind of hurtful and shallow, because, being E-Js, they tended to dominate, so I felt like I was expected to agree with them no matter what (especially in the case of my boyfriend, who'd sulk unbearably if he felt that I wasn't "supporting" him 100% - which meant completely agreeing with him).
I also found it really difficult to deal with the fact that they seemed to have no comprehension of the fact that everybody wasn't exactly like them, and operated solely out of their "logic" - the sorts of arguments some people mentioned happening with INTJs, where they started by talking about their feelings and ended in tears, saying they were completely wrong and the other completely right, because the other person decided to have an argument about some tiny 'fact' that wasn't completely correct - happened an awful lot with these two ESTJs.
I'm going to stop my own description there, other than to say that my relationship ended pretty badly - my (now ex) boyfriend kept hounding me, screaming "Why?! Why?!" down the phone, etc, because he refused to accept my answer for ending the relationship, that "It didn't feel right and didn't make me feel happy". He kept insisting there must be some other reason - like that I'd cheated on him, or found someone else, or that I thought he was a bad person. Damn passionate thinking types.