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INFP Community v2: Lovers, Dreamers, and Me

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Am I the only one that does this? Is this weird? [Feb. 3rd, 2008|12:06 am]
INFP Community v2: Lovers, Dreamers, and Me


Even if I'm not easily read, I try to convince myself that I am easily read for moral improvement. I try to tell myself that people can see through my true feelings. This gets me to be more genuine.

Example: Sometimes when I don't like someone, I act nice to him or her anyway and smile. I hate that and feel really fake. So I try to make myself like the person (if it's an irrational reason) by seeing the good in him or her. That way I won't feel guilty for being fake 'cause it's more genuine.

I don't know if I explained it right. I just try to believe that people can see through me so I don't try to decieve people or lie to them that much, or at all. Does anyone get it?

[User Picture]From: jeroentiggelman
2008-02-03 11:47 am (UTC)
I think I get it.

I am probably less "nice" in general, but I do understand giving a surface indication of acceptance while not really liking someone('s opinions) that much. I don't think I actually try to let that come across as a matter of genuine like, so I am absolutely fine when someone notices that the acceptance is only on a superficial level. Doing this consciously, I don't feel fake unless people try to manipulate me into saying things that are not at all heart-felt. (I am rather allergic to that, and probably won't play along very far.)

On another note, I think both seeing the good in people and being generally nicer for that reason is in general a good thing (in reasonable moderation). I do try to some extent.

--Jeroen (INTJ)
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[User Picture]From: reasonjo
2008-02-04 12:06 am (UTC)
I think I used to do that when I was younger (teens & early 20's). I don't do it anymore. If I don't like someone I don't like them. I don't scream "I don't like you!" from the treetops, but I don't go out of my way to be anything more than civilly polite to them.
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[User Picture]From: rajenath
2008-02-04 07:24 am (UTC)
*shrug* I'm polite to just about everyone, but I only try to act like I like someone if I actually like them. It's not my fault if someone can't figure out that I'm being polite, not friendly.

I do the nod-and-smile semi-agreement thing sometimes, but it's an extension of the politeness. It's not actually a fake friendship.
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[User Picture]From: andrewjvb
2008-02-04 07:47 pm (UTC)
I definitely get it. Sometimes I feel I have been left an empty, dull, shell of a person because of it.

I believe that everyone is lovable, or admirable, interesting, in some way. So it seems like it's a failure on my part, or its small of me, if I can't love everyone, or at least not hate anyone. Now it's hard to tell anymore what hate is, or at least I don't want to let it in. Repression!
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[User Picture]From: katexas
2008-02-20 06:10 am (UTC)
I have definitely behaved in a friendly way with people I didn't actually get along with very well.

People who thought that we should be friends but made me feel uncomfortable. People whose opinion I didn't really value and who didn't really seem to respect me and who thought they could insult me, boss me around, and then take me out for coffee. I could do a decent job of just talking to them for a few minutes and trying to talk about the kinds of things we could "get along" about, but ultimately I did not feel good or genuine about it. Like you said, I felt like a fake. But I do think that most people have at least a few good qualities and most of the time would rather try to get along than fight. Especially if we have to work together.
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[User Picture]From: goldlove
2008-02-29 02:20 am (UTC)
sounds enfj to me.

i'm borderline i/e NFP and i can't hide how i'm feeling about anything.
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From: sanjukta_95
2015-04-20 05:26 pm (UTC)
In such cases I avoid speaking or conveying my opinion to such people (people with pole apart mindsets) because it feels very bad pleasing them being dishonest.I usually speak to them when it is necessary or cannot be avoided.
Trying to see the good in others, it is good if it is coming to you naturally because this is something I tried but it felt very bad as if I'm shifting from my priorities and values, happened because I could not be fake thoroughly.

Edited at 2015-04-20 05:33 pm (UTC)
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